Final Beta

We had our final beta on Monday the 11th and it was perfect!  It was....






                               7649!!!



We are definitely pregnant and expected a very strong baby in there!  We have our first ultrasound this coming Monday and are hoping to see a heartbeat.  It still might be a little early so we are trying to not get our hopes up if we don't see one then.  YEAH for our little snowflake wanting to stick around. :)

Official

I had my official beta per the clinic today and it was 333 which is PERFECT!!  WE ARE PREGNANT!!!  I am on day 10 but was 9.50dpt when I had my blood drawn.  I don't have another blood draw until the following week but the clinic agreed to let us have another done two days later.  I am more obsessed with seeing this number double the way it needs to.  It is comforting to see it go up since we have to wait for our ultrasound.  Ultrasound is in a few weeks...

The suspense....

Needed some extra luck to help with the transfer!

This was after I took the Valium and look a little out of it.

Our "snowflake" is practically coming out of his shell completely.  This is what the doctor calls a hatching embryo.

Since our transfer wasn't until 4pm on Friday we had lots of plans to relax and just enjoy the day.  J picked me up from my place around 10am and we headed to get a mani/pedi.  We each picked a green color for some fertility luck.  After we headed to lunch with T at Olive Garden, MMM!  It was so cute to see T get excited during lunch as he was talking about the upcoming evening.  J had massages scheduled for us both after lunch to help us both relax.  I am so glad she thought of it, it was very needed.  I think we both fell asleep during our massages.  The clinic generally says to not wear any perfumes and etc during the transfer and so I had to do a wipe bath to get oils off of my body now.  By the time we were finished with our massages it was time to book it down to the clinic for our transfer.

They wanted us to arrive a half hour prior since I needed to take a Valium to relax completely.  I don't remember feeling so out of it last time once I took the Valium, this time was a whole other story.  By the time they called us back for the transfer I had to hold on to T's arm so I could even walk straight.  I felt very relaxed and so out of it!  J and T kept laughing at me since I was clearly drugged at this point.  I've also realized I get super giggly when I am this out of it.

The nurse came in and gave us information for follow-up and etc.  We waited a little bit and it was closer to 4:20 before the doctor came in.  She explained what she would be doing and we were all glued to the little ultrasound video.

It was amazing to watch this 5 day embryo be placed into my uterus and that hopefully a few days later we would find out if we were pregnant.  I sure hope this little one decides to stick around. :)

I ended up staying at J and T's house during the weekend which was perfect!  It was fun to play games with them and get to know them more.  J is an amazing cook and spoiled us all weekend.  I felt bad though since I was still really out of it and slept most of Saturday away.  Sunday we went to the movies, J and I saw Age of Adaline.  It made me think of how MaK and I went to the movies right before we got a positive test at home.

Happy Dance!!

I would like to announce that I will be stopping all meds this evening.  I have two shots left tonight, one of progesterone and one of estrogen.  Then I am DONE!!!

My behind is beyond painful right now.  I have numbness, knots the size of pickles (yes in that length), new and old bruises and soreness.  I am hoping that by the 3rd trimester my back side will be back to it's normal self and not the beat up that it looks now.  I would share pictures but I will spare you all that awfulness. ha  Yeah for the final day of shots!!!

Yes I am a bit excited about this moment!  I never thought I would hate shots so much in my life but after giving myself roughly 75 shots I am done.  I don't want to see these shots for a while for sure!

Holy freaking YEAH!!!

Last night I took it easy and had a great night with my bugs a boo!  We went to the movie and enjoyed the movie theatre all to our self and got Smart Cookie!  So fun!!

Thursday morning I really wasn't going to POAS but I just thought why not.  I honestly thought it was going to be negative again.  I dipped it and set it on the top of the toilet and then continued to get ready for the day.  When I looked a few minutes later I was SHOCKED!!  I started screaming and jumping up and down!  It was a positive!!!  I was freaking out with excitement, it worked!!  It actually freaking worked and I was carrying for this amazing couple!

I am an hour ahead of my IPs and so I called them and probably startled my IM a bit.  Our conversation went something like this....

Mrs. California: Is everything okay?

Me: Yes, I am your 4th child calling to say good morning!!

Mrs. California: What??

Me: You are going to be a mommy again!

Seriously I wish I could have been in person when I told her but I could tell from her voice how excited she was and probably shocked that there last hope had worked!!  I called before her hubby left for work so they got to find out together that they were having another baby!  I talked to their youngest Ms. Diva and she is pretty excited to be a big sister, I don't know if she knows exactly what that entails yet. :)

Since I work at a lab I went ahead and had my blood drawn to just check to see if my numbers would double or not.  Those results for later!

Here is to having a little pea in my pod now!!

 Home test!!

 We drew my blood and took the serum from the draw and put it on to see if I'd get a positive from my blood already and sure enough it was a light line with in a minute!!

POAS.....

Once I left California I made it a goal to wait until at least 5 days post transfer to start testing to see if I would get a positive.  I just couldn't wait that long though and although I knew they would be negative so early I started testing Monday morning.  I thought why not and I knew it would be negative, but it is the excitement of waiting for a positive.

I thought it is too soon so I won't get my hopes up if it is negative until day 6.  Monday I got a negative and I was okay.  I felt like it's fine there is still plenty of time.  Tuesday a negative and I was still feeling confident that it would be positive.  I tested Wednesday and I swear there was a light, light, light line but there just wasn't.  I was a little disappointed about it.  I just wanted it to be positive so badly and want this to work for my couple so badly.  I want them to be able to add to their family.

I told everyone that I was going to wait until Friday or Saturday to test because I couldn't handle another negative.  So we wait.....

Moments

This day has been awaited and planned for months and months now and it has finally arrived!!!!  As I got ready and was in the shower I was so overwhelmed and started to cry.  This was happening!  That sweet Spirit I have felt countless times was going to be and was going to thrive and be given a chance at life.  I literally could feel how excited they were to be given this chance.

We headed over to the fertility clinic and chatted for a bit while we waited.  Mrs. California and I were getting a little anxious for this to go down and then there was Mr. California.  He was a cool cucumber and just was so content.  On the way to the clinic I asked Mrs. C if she was going to cry since I probably would and she said she had already teared up a little.

When we started this journey we had always agreed to transfer 2 embryos and they had four frozen so I always thought that's what we would end up doing.  When we got there we found out that only 1 baby embie made it through the thaw.  We were a little sad about that but it was also a blessing in disguise.  They didn't want to have to make a difficult choice on what to do if they had any left over and this worked the first time.  God took over that part of the decision for everyone!! :)

They called us back and I changed in to my awesome gown and she told us the embryologist would be in soon to explain further instructions for after the procedure.  We waited and waited and the nurse finally came back and she ended up explaining our instruction for afterwards.  This was starting to get real!  It was about that time that I had taken the Valium and I am SO glad that I did.  I know some girls say the procedure is so simple and similar to a pap smear and to go sans the Valium.  Although the procedure was simple and quick once it actually it got started but the speculum just hanging out down town didn't really feel that great.

The doctor came in and IP's chatted a second and then we started the miracle making!!  I won't lie this was one of the most amazing experiences of my life aside from giving birth to my daughter.  I have had many spiritual experiences leading up to this decision and then to this point and this wasn't any different.  It was amazing and I started to tear up almost immediately!

They transferred one little embryo and then I had to wait on the table for 10 minutes and then I could FINALLY empty my VERY full bladder.  Whoever said that was necessary didn't have someone pushing on your bladder and someone in your business for 20 minutes.

It felt so surreal to realize that he just implanted a little start of a baby in my uterus and that I could possibly become pregnant if it was meant to be.  I was taking the meds correctly and doing what they wanted so now it was all in God's hands.  Now we just wait to start POAS!!!

 Valium was starting to kick in and I was feeling really awesome at this point!!

 We originally thought we were transferring both of these little beauties but we only transferred the top on which was a grade A+.  The bottom one didn't expand and wasn't thriving. :(

If you can tell, the little white dot in the center is where the little embie is starting to get snuggled in for a long 9 months!!

Last ultrasound

Had my final ultrasound this morning and so glad to be done with the weeny wand or so I thought.  I had my ultrasound and everything looked great!!  The lining was a 7.54mm which is really great since we still had a week to go before the lining would be much more before starting the progesterone.  My ovaries were being good girls and not ovulating at all and everything was good to go!!

I got the call from the clinic saying they wanted me to have another ultrasound done on Monday the 5th of August since I was just barely within the range they wanted me.  I was disappointed about having to have another ultrasound and then a little worried that something was going to ruin this from happening.

They decided to up my estrogen a tiny bit which we all felt better about and hoped that it would all work out in the end.

Side Effects

Since being on delestrogen shots I have had a few side effects that I wasn't expecting and was texting or calling a friend freaking thinking something was wrong.  Only to discover that it is just one of the many side effects of the hormone they have me on.  If it wasn't for friends who have been on these meds I would think I was going to die.

All my shots are done at night and so these effects don't hit me until the following day if I'm lucky.  One of the first things to hit me and hit me hard was the worst and I mean WORST headache I've ever had.  I spread from my neck clear to my eyes and then rotated back and forth.  No amount of fluids and rest would make that beast go away.  I am anti taking medicine so I just waited it out and hoped for the best.  Having an awesome headache right now and it just plain sucks!

I went for a run the day after the shot and although it had been a while since I had ran I was having what felt like a panic attack, completely drenched in sweat, super red faced and it wasn't like I sprinted by any means.  I couldn't figure out what was going on until when I was doing nothing in the cool air conditioned apartment and a rush went over me and then I knew I was having a hot flash.  Welcome to hormone induced menopause!  I completely get it now mom, I still don't feel like it needs to be 50 degrees in the house at all times of the day and year round. :)

Emotional roller coaster was almost left out and then I got the sweetest text from Mrs. California and I was practically in tears.  I don't usually cry, like ever unless something is really just amazing!  I just feel so blessed to be helping such an amazing family and count them as my forever friends and apart of my life!  The mountains the Lord has moved for us to be apart of this journey together is simply amazing and a miracle!

I have had bouts of nausea and tiredness as well which are just preparing me for the awesomeness known to the first trimester!

As much as the side effects aren't very fun I would do it all over again to help this family or any family.  I know the outcome is going to be amazing!

Second Ultrasound

I had my second ultrasound this morning and it went great!  I am at the tale end of AF and so my lining was smaller then a couple weeks ago at 5.94mm.  Great news was that I was not ovulating at all; if I was we could possibly have to cancel this cycle and start all over with this cycle.  IM and I were very happy to hear about this!  This go around I remembered to tell the nurse that I have a latex allergy and to please switch out the weenie wand cover.  t was a quick visit and was in and out in about thirty minutes.  I got my blood drawn and checked my estradiol to make sure it was raising with the meds I've been on for a few days.

I got a call hours later from IP's fertility nurse to let me know that they wanted to up my dose of delestrogen my next dose.  I was okay and figured that was going to happen to help ensure that I had a thicker lining.

My IM has officially started looking for flights for us to come to California for the transfer.  We will be there a couple days prior so we can hang out and do a few fun things before I am on bed rest and not allowed to move.  I will probably be pulling a Phoebe and laying upside down and legs in the air.

First shot

I started my shots on Friday evening and was going to attempt to do it myself and quickly chickened out.  I called a friend to see if she could help me and she said her mom was home and would do it for me.  I drove the 20 minutes, yes I was too scared to do it myself and didn't want to explain to a neighbor (haven't told too many people) what it was for when I just wanted the shot and then to go home and to bed.

We got there and I had no idea what or how to do this and the directions weren't that great.  We ended up having to wait for my friend to get off of work to help me out.  She got there and found out we were putting the meds in the wrong syringe which could have been really bad.  I put the 18 Gauge needle on the syringe and put .2 in and then switch the needle out to the 25 gauge.  My clinic didn't want to spend the extra 50 cents per needle I guess and had originally sent me 22 gauge needles.  Not bad but unless they are going to have to attempt at some point to stick this in your behind, no thanks!  My friend gave me her extras which I greatly appreciate!!  What my instructions didn't really explain to me very well is that once I stick myself with the needle I need to pull back on the syringe to make sure I don't get any blood in the back flow.  Making sure I didn't accidentally hit a blood vessel, which wouldn't be a good thing to insert the meds into my blood.

My friends mom drew circles where I needed to put the needle and I really was going to attempt to do it myself and then felt better her helping guide my hand.  That helped and it really wasn't that bad but boy was a shaky and nervous about screwing it up.  She checked the back flow and then we inserted very, very slowly the medicine.  The medicine is super thick and so it took a little while for it to go completely in but it was good for a first time.  I think next time I will attempt to do it myself and just lay on my side like I've heard some other girls do.