Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Why would I want to do this?

I have family and friends that don't understand why I would want to be a surrogate and have said some very HURTFUL things to me about me wanting to do this.  I know that their intentions are good but they have hurt my feelings.

With that said; this is something I have wanted to do since I was 18 years old.  I had a close friend years ago who found out very early at the age of 17 she couldn't have kids of her own ever.  I immediately told her that I would be her surrogate and carry her children for her.  That was in 2005; that was nearly 7 years ago.

Three years ago I mentioned it to family and friends about being a gestational surrogate and some were really supportive and some were so opposed to it.  I didn't do anything further with it at the time.  Last Summer, I felt like I should start looking into it again.  So I did.  I looked into different agencies and read more about it.  I felt at the time that with the divorce so fresh and the co-parenting relationship a little rocky that it would be best that I waited.  Six short months later (Jan. 2012) I felt like it was time.  I looked into it again but this time I applied at agencies and talked with a lawyer who specializes in surrogate law.  I have received the most assuring answer or feeling when I filed for divorce and it is no different when I have pondering and prayed about helping another family to start their family.

I have family members and friends that can't have kids on their own and I would do anything to help them and if that meant helping them start their family by carrying their baby for them I wouldn't even think twice about it.  I know that being a surrogate is not for everyone, there is so much time and pain that goes into this.  There are so many people that may look at this as a negative but I can only see the positive.  I know how amazing it is to be a parent and how important that is for me, that I can't even fathom not being able to be a parent and raise a beautiful Spirit.  I am so excited and have dreamed about doing this for such a long time; to be able to help a sweet couple begin their family is such a miracle.

For those that think surrogates do it just for the money think extra long and hard about this, SERIOUSLY.  If I was in it for the money I would do something that wouldn't stretch my body to the core and mutilate it.  I would do something that I didn't chance dying over or losing organs over.  I would do something that meant I got paid more then a couple dollars a day; from beginning to end of being a surrogate which is actually about a year of time if not longer, is not worth the money.  I have had people mention the mounds of money I will get out of doing this and that is not the case.  Yes, there is money involved for my pain and suffereing but the actual concept of bringing a sweet Spirit into this world for another family is something more meaningful and special to me then the money.

I eat, sleep and when I sleep I dream of doing this; it has literally consumed my thoughts all day and every day. I know that some of you who are of my faith and think I shouldn't do this and that I will be damned or excommunicated realize that this isn't something I have just jumped into.  Being a surrogate is so very close to my heart not because I have had infertility problems but because people I love and are near and dear to my heart have and I want to do something to help them.  Those seven years ago when my friend found out she couldn't have kids I was completely sincere about helping her and still would if she needed it.  To be able to see a couple that has struggled for years upon years to have a child to no avail hold THEIR baby for the first time makes me tear up just thinking about it.  I have prayerfully decided to be a gestational surrogate and I am so elated about this decision.  I know that their is a  baby that is so ready to come to Earth and be with their family.  I understand that there are so many options for couples to have a family but I know that this is also an option; I am willing to help a family if they want.  I honestly can't imagine doing anything else right now but to give someone the most amazing gift; a child of their own!

Please if you have questions about being a surrogate or don't understand something please ask but please be courteous of what you might say.  I have already been so deeply hurt by the ignorance of others and them not fully understanding what I am doing.

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