Meeting

After I delivered TJ and all during that pregnancy I said it was my last one unless they wanted a sibling down the road.  I figured I would take a break from being pregnant and just focus on me and my family.  Then I had this couple fall in my lap and I had a decision to make.  I have been chatting with them since February/March and I flew out to meet them the end of July.  From the beginning I've always said and felt that if things are meant to be they will work out.  I wasn't really looking for a new couple.  When I first started talking to this new couple I felt like I was cheating on TJ's family.  I ran it by them and they want to wait to decide.  I felt better having their blessing to move forward with this new couple.

This new couple is adorable and so sweet.  When Mrs. NYC told me about her infertility story my heart went out to them.  My friend carried their second child for them and it was sweet watching them dote over him.  We discussed several things while at lunch and I felt very good about everything.  I feel like this is going to be a great match.

The main reason for not wanting to look for a new couple is I was scared.  I was scared that I would think they were amazing and then it end the same as the first couple I carried for.  I want contact after.  I don't need to hear or talk every single day but a quick text or picture every so often means the world to me.  J & T have been so amazing in giving me that.  This new couple give their last surro that and I am hopeful it will be the same with me.

Anyways, the whole point of this is that I am officially matched.  I will be flying out to do the medical and psychological evaluations.  I am hoping that we have time to get everything done for us to transfer when they are wanting to.  Here is to another journey...

30 weeks along

30 weeks and 1 day along

My biggest helper and fan

29 weeks along

He favors one side over the other for sure

My daughter likes to stick her tummy out and says she has a belly in her belly too

28 weeks along and I forgot to take one for week 27

I have been having the nesting bug lately which is good for my house.  The only bad part about that is I am usually at work or it is bed time and I feel this need to scrub everything down.  I was up scrubbing the bathroom last night.  Usually at this point in the pregnancy you are preparing the nursery and washing baby clothes and although I'm grateful to not be doing that I have this desire to scrub everything.  I am not the type of person to want to scrub baseboards but that is on the list of things to do and I'm actually excited!

I've noticed that he starts moving around tons when we have music playing which is really neat!  It is cool to see what noises get him moving around like crazy and what don't.  Hope his parents are ready for a music lover if he keeps it up.

He is still breech and I honestly was feeling stressed about it and a little bit of pressure put on me over it all.  I am just not going to stress the uncontrollable anymore.  My OB is on board for trying a breech vaginal delivery.  I am slowly coming to terms with a c-section but it honestly scares the hell out of me.  It is not what I wanted for my experience going into this at all, this is my journey too ya know.  Overall I just want this baby healthy and if it means I get an extra scar then so be it; but that is the LAST option.

My daughter and I went a couple weeks ago to get pedicures and it was amazing!!  I think the last trimester it is mandatory since there is no chance in me doing a decent job by myself.  Plus it is a bonus of having extra girl time with my daughter.

I have hit a wall at work with this exhaustion too.  He wakes me on the clock at 1 am and 3 am and I toss and turn to fall back to sleep.  I am good in the morning at work but by 2 pm literally everyday I could use a nap badly.  I'm really hoping to be able to work full time until delivery but if this keeps up I don't know how that is going to work.

My BP (blood pressure) has leveled out too!  It was at a normal level when I went into my OB appointment instead of the unusually low levels it had been at.  Thank goodness!  I would take low bp over high bp any day though!  I think there are less issues with low bp.

I also had my VERY LAST monthly OB appt.  Now I go in every two weeks and then once a week until delivery.  This is when it gets real and the countdown begins!  Holy smokes!!

Also, I will be in the SINGLE digits this coming week!!  Mind is blown that we are there already.  I had a bit of mixed emotions over how quickly this journey is coming to an end last week but am doing okay now.  This is something I've dreamed of doing and helping someone in this way for a very long time and it took, what seemed like forever to get to this point.  Now it is coming to a close and this Spirit is going to come Earth side and be with its family.  On one hand I can't wait to be done and have delivered.  To have my body back, to sleep all night, to hold my daughter and her not make fun of how huge my belly is and it being in her face.  On the flip side I have enjoyed every bad and miserable thing that comes with pregnancy symptoms because I know I am going to miss this journey.  I have learned so much from it and grown so much from it.  It is sad that it will soon be over but I am so excited for the family to have this baby in their arms.  They have waited such a long time to have him be apart of the family.  It is just a lot of mixed emotions with the end coming!

Weight Gain: 33 lbs, I always seem to pack on the pounds towards the end and I am definitely feeling it.  I am within healthy weight gain though so I won't stress about it.

Cravings: I have been having weird cravings lately, as in I want to have the constant smells of certain things.  They use a certain cleaner at work and I could sniff that smell all day and every single day.  The smell of laundry anything (soap and softener) I could smell all day.  Food cravings are just the usual I guess.  I have been loving bananas lately which help the charlie horses I've been having.  Bowls of cereal sound great anytime too!  Coconut water or anything with coconut flavor!  YUM!

Symptoms: Definitely waddling at this point in time, braxton hicks, pelvic pressure, constantly having to pee like an insane amount and not feeling like it is all out, exhaustion and wishing I could take a nap every single day, some ligament pain, him constantly moving around which I don't mind at all, some swelling in my feet, heart burn if I don't take the prilosec every single day (sometimes the prilosec doesn't even work too), Major back pain and sciatic nerve pain going down my leg, and charlie horses.  I think some extra stretch marks are slowly starting to show there ugly face too.

What I miss: 

  

Their baby's the size of a cucumber!

Their 15.2- to 16.7-inch, 3- to 3.8-pound baby continues to grow!!

Their baby at 30 weeks!

• His skin is getting smoother.
• But his brain is getting wrinklier -- to make way for all that essential brain tissue.
• He's now strong enough to grasp a finger!

26 weeks along

23 weeks 

Surro sisters-we are (starting with me and moving to the right) 22, 21, 20 weeks along

My Christmas present from one of my best friends!  Love it!!

24 weeks

Still breech and lays on the right side and won't budge at all...

25 weeks

26 weeks

Baby P on 1/17/2014

This has been quite the past month with some ups and some downs.  I can't imagine not going through this experience but it is just SO different from my last pregnancy with my own child that it throws me for a loop.

I went to my surro brunch and had so much fun chatting with the girls from my Utah Surro Group, they are honestly some of my best friends!  I really enjoy seeing them and hearing how everything is going with them and with their journeys!

I had mentioned a while ago, probably before we even transferred that I wanted a shirt that something like "Stay Calm, It's Not Mine."  Well my friend is awesome and found a company that made one for me!  I was so excited about this and couldn't wait to wear it out.

I had my monthly OB appointment and baby boy is still very much in the breech position but at least doesn't have his bum in my pelvis.  We still have about 10 weeks before we will start trying to move him ourselves though.  For now, I will start doing some downward dog and possibly prenatal yoga to see if that helps him flip.  He has plenty of fluid in there to turn and move around but he is nice and cozy sitting on my bladder and laying in my rib cage.  I also got to drink the glucose drink today but won't find out the results to that for a few days.  Here is to hoping that turns out great and I won't need the 3 hour glucose test too.

The family has picked a name out for baby boy and I think it is super cute!  For all of you I will now start to refer to him as Baby P though.

After my OB appointment I had a perinatal appointment to check on the baby.  Due to their other son they just wanted to check and make sure everything looked good.  I was completely okay with that since it meant an extensive ultrasound of seeing the little pea moving around.  We were lucky and were able to get a 3D shot of his face and I have to say he looks pretty stinking cute!  The results were that he is perfect and as far as the perinatal doctor could see everything looks wonderful!  Sigh of relief for the family of this little guy.  With the extra ultrasound we had we were able to get measurements of everything and I am a little nervous for the delivery.  He is measuring about 2lbs, 2 oz.  His head is measuring a little large at about 28 weeks and 4-5 days along when I am only 25 weeks and 6 days.  The rest of his body is measuring on target at least but with him being breech it makes me nervous that a vaginal birth might not happen if he doesn't get turned around and is head down.  From what I've read with breech deliveries they want the stomach and head about the same diameter around or at least the stomach a bit bigger than the head.  Here is to hoping he flips soon!

Weight Gain: 29 lbs.  I apparently know how to pack on the weight when I get pregnant, but thankfully it has mostly gone to my belly and maybe to my behind.

Cravings: Water that is somewhat warm (I know kind of weird), salad, turkey, avocado, sweets (doesn't help with all the holiday treats we had going around)

Symptoms: Starting to waddle, braxton hicks, pelvic pressure, constantly having to pee, exhaustion again, some ligament pain, him constantly moving around which I don't mind at all, some swelling in my feet, heart burn if I don't take the prilosec every single day

What I miss: Not feeling so immobile, I want so badly to just lay on my stomach, Shaving without trying to be an acrobat, not feeling like my insides are going to fall out or my belly to fall over

Their baby's the size of a head of lettuce!

He's still growing in the 13.6- to 14.8-inch and 1.5- to 2.5-pound range, and developing his senses, features and talents!

Their baby at 26 weeks

• His eyes are forming, and his eyes will soon start to open.
• And his eyelashes are now grown, too.
• He's getting his immune system ready for life on the outside by soaking up your antibodies.
• He's taking breaths, too. They're of amniotic fluid, not air, but it's still good practice.

IT'S A....

I went to work the morning of the ultrasound and as always picked up my daughter so we could all see the baby.  I truly feel that the more involved I let her be the more she will adjust and be okay with the end result, us not bringing a baby home.

Mrs. California flew in the morning of the ultrasound and thankfully the weather permitted and she made it alive and safely.  The day prior to her flying in they had literally shut down the airport for ice and snow on the runways.  It was beautiful the day she came in though!

We went straight down to the ultrasound and we were able to see this little pea.  He was moving like crazy and was making it difficult for the tech to get good readings on everything but she managed to get everything we needed.  When we first got to the ultrasound they were thinking it was just the gender reveal when it was actually the BIG anatomy scan.  Thankfully the tech just did the anatomy scan as well which also meant that Mrs. C was able to get a CD of the entire scan!

The tech took her time looking at everything and made sure to get lots of pictures of everything for the family and one or two for me!

So the big reveal of this little pea is that it is most DEFINITELY...

A BOY!!!!!

I wasn't sure if Mrs. California would find out what he was since she was going back and forth of whether they would find out or not.  I am so glad that she decided to find out because I was so worried that I would slip on what it was.

As soon as the tech put the wand on my belly you could instantly see his parts.  This baby is not shy at all and made it very clear and without a doubt that he was in fact a he!  They would have been fine with whatever God intended this baby to be but I could tell they were very excited that it was a boy!!

19 weeks along

 19 weeks

I talked to my doctor this past Tuesday about some things that I have had concerns about.  Nothing to fret about but just for future.  I have honestly been feeling like I might deliver this baby breech and I wanted to make sure my doctor was on the same wave length as me.  If she wasn't then I would need to start looking for a provider that would be on board.  You see, I want to avoid a c-section just like any other girl. :)  My provider is awesome and said she actually enjoys delivering breech babies.  I am so thrilled that she is on board and I know she will make sure this is a safe and enjoyable delivery.  I really did enjoy the delivery of my daughter, it was a very spiritual experience for me!!  

Weight Gain: 14 lbs.  I am sure I had gained twice that with my daughter at this point.

Cravings: Fruit, ice water, salads, chicken, pork, mashed potatoes with extra gravy,  juice

Symptoms: Shot pain on my right side still of my hip (girls in my group said that should go away shortly), tossing and turning in my sleep, getting up to pee about a billion times (that is new from my first pregnancy, I never had that issue), braxton hicks which my doctor said is perfectly normal this early (she has seen people have them as early as 12 weeks)

Movement: Baby likes to move around early in the morning as I'm getting ready and then right before I go to bed.  It is constantly in my ribs and has only caused some pain once.  I still have pain there from when I was carrying my daughter and I'm sure it is only going to get worse.  My daughter was able to feel a tiny little kick just the other night.  It was really cool!  I think the baby has been having hiccups lately unless it is just kicking in a consecutive manner.

Their baby's the size of a mango!

He is about 6.0 inches long and weighing in at about 8.5 ounces, he's getting there!

Their baby at 19 weeks

• Developing a protective coating over his skin, called vernix caseosa. It's greasy and white and you may see some of it at his birth.
• Working on his five senses. Nerve cells for his sense of taste, hearing, sight and smell are developing in his brain.

Surro Sisters Luncheon

Four out of the six of us are pregnant and one will be pregnant shortly.

We are about a week and a half apart.  You can't really tell but I am further along then Jen is.

With all the craziness that has been going on it was a much needed girl time with these lovely ladies.  We try and get together once a month.  I am not always able to make it but I needed this time for me.  These are the only women who truly get the feelings I have and know what I am going through.  I can say something and they don't look at me like I am crazy because they have felt the same way or similar.  They have been my complete support aside from my best friend and I am so grateful for them!  These are girls who aren't just a monthly visit but we spend time together and are truly friends and are there for each other.  I love them to pieces and so glad to have them apart of my life and this journey!

16 weeks 6 days

I just have to say I can't believe how quickly this pregnancy is going by.  I swear we just barely transferred the little miracle pea and I was anxiously waiting for a positive pregnancy test.  With how busy the holidays always are it is going to be down to crunch time before I know it.  I am honestly just really trying to treasure these moments because it will be over before I know it.

Weight Gain: 10 lbs from transfer.  Not bad if I say so myself.

Cravings: Meat, Ice water, Sprite with vanilla extract, Rice, salads, Mexican food; any kind of it, Cheese

Symptoms: Heartburn has kicked and is staying for good.  Will be getting a script for that since tums aren't even touching it.  Hip pain already.  I have my trusty whale pillow that helps with the tossing and turning at night, Still pretty tired.  Constantly hungry, like I will eat and an hour later it is like I haven't eaten in days.  Braxton hicks already.  Little kicks and movements.  Those are literally the best part of this.  I can already feel it kicking my ribs, the exact spot my daughter would kick me.  Extremely itchy belly and boobs.  Have to pee all the time.

Weeks	1 - 4	5 - 8	9 - 13	14 - 17	18 - 21	22 - 26	27 - 30	31 - 35	36 - 40
Which Monthare you in?	You are in your 1st month	You are in your 2nd month	You are in your 3rd month	You are in your 4th month	You are in your 5th month	You are in your 6th month	You are in your 7th month	You are in your 8th month	You are in your 9th month
This is Month	one	two	three	four	five	six	seven	eight	nine
Trimester	first			second			third

It looks like next week will mark 5 months into this pregnancy too.  I told you it is zooming by!

Their baby's the size of an onion! 

Baby continues to beef up. Now he's/she's about 5.1 inches long and weighs about 5.9 ounces. 

 

 Their baby at 17 weeks 

• His/Her rubbery cartilage is now turning to bone.
• And he's/she's growing some meat on those bones -- putting on some fat.
• He's/She's growing a stronger, thicker umbilical cord, too.

15 weeks along

15 weeks along

This is what happens when you have friends that own their Doppler, you get to hear the heart beat when you want to.  My sweet surro friend is letting me borrow her Doppler until she is pregnant and I can't thank her enough!

I know I've said it before but not feeling the baby moving consistently at this point it can put a lot of worry in your mind.  It is a lot of pressure to do this and make sure that nothing goes wrong at all.  With my daughter I just didn't worry because I knew it would be okay.  With this pregnancy I still feel it will be okay but it isn't mine so there is extra pressure for it to go just right.  This has been reassuring to just stick it on my belly and hear that sweet thumping beat!  The baby doesn't like the Doppler put on because it will move around and sometimes will kick it away.  It is so sweet though.

First Ultrasound

I flew into California on Saturday morning; we decided it would be easier to have me there.  We planned to have our first ultrasound this Sunday to see the baby and the heartbeat.  The entire family would be there to witness this little miracle growing inside me!  I was a bit sad that my daughter wasn't able to be there too since she's been my biggest fan through all this.

I was so tired from the week that when we got to their house on Saturday I literally slept til dinner time.  The pregnancy exhaustion has kicked it up and been a constant friend from sun up til sun down.  I felt a little bad since it seems I have slept the entire stay the last two times I came to visit.

On Sunday we were getting ready and for some reason I thought just the Mr & Mrs were coming.  I don't know why I didn't think the little kidlets would be there to.  That was really neat to have everyone there and to get excited.  Ms. Diva was constantly asking to touch my belly and would proceed to poke it instead. :)

When we got to the clinic is was overflowing with patients waiting to be seen.  It was probably the most full we have ever seen it thus far.  The wait was to a minimum thank goodness and we were called back quickly.  I got ready in the room and then Mr&Mrs came in.  They were going to have the kids come in right away but the doctor talked them into waiting to make sure everything was going good.  Once we saw the heartbeat we had the kids come in to see the little pea.  I was measuring exactly 7 weeks on Sunday and my due date is April 26th!

The cute little pea just hanging out!!

Sticks

From top to bottom is the proof that this little one is sticking around for a while.  I started testing on 2dpt5dt but of course didn't get a positive til later.  The top is 4dpt and then so on until 18dpt and the line is finally darker then the control line.  It makes me so happy for the California's!!  We have our first ultrasound in a couple weeks and they can't wait to see their little pea or two!  Come on, let the time pass by quickly!

5 weeks along

 My little one took these and she did her best job being my photographer!

Weight Gain: 1 lb weigh gain.  I didn't gain anything from 

Cravings: Orange Chicken, Chocolate, Cranberry Chicken

Aversions: Hamburger Meat, Bananas, Yogurt

Symptoms: Weight Gain, Hunger Pains, Headaches, Nausea all day and every day, Heat flashes, Sore behind from shots, and Bloated, Sore Boobies, Tired, Emotional

What I miss: Maybe not having the constant sick and yuck feeling.  Every once in a while that feeling goes away and it is a breath of fresh air but then it comes back.

your baby's the size of an appleseed!

Your embryo is now measurable -- though at week five, it's a wee .13 inches -- and she's gearing up for much more growth. In fact, in the next week, she'll almost double in size. Grow baby grow!

your baby at 5 weeks

• The embryo doesn't look like much more than a tadpole right now, but at five weeks, she's already starting to form major organs (heart, stomach, liver, kidney) and systems (digestive, circulatory, nervous)

Man I feel like a huge complainer after that.  I really am grateful to be apart of this amazing process and hopefully my Intended Parents are just reassured that their little pea is sticking around.

This is all new to me because with my pregnancy with my daughter I can name on ONE hand the amounts of time I felt like hell.  I knew there would be morning sickness but not the day after transfer and not every single day.  This is going to get used to so please bare with me if I am complaining.  It definitely is not that I am not so excited to be doing this or proud of what is going on but I am just not used to it.  I know the extra progesterone I am shooting in my body probably is duplicating the symptoms ten fold.  This just didn't happen til a little later in my first trimester!

I am tired just from having a toddler and I didn't think it would get much worse.  Boy, was I wrong!  I can be in bed at 8:30 pm which does happen and sleep til 7 am the next morning.  I am good for a couple hours and then I'm dragging again.  My IM gave me these Folic Acid, Vitamin B6 and B12 tablet and I thought for sure that pill would boost my energy.  I will just say I'm still waiting for that boost of energy!  Maybe in the 2nd trimester! ha

Moments

This day has been awaited and planned for months and months now and it has finally arrived!!!!  As I got ready and was in the shower I was so overwhelmed and started to cry.  This was happening!  That sweet Spirit I have felt countless times was going to be and was going to thrive and be given a chance at life.  I literally could feel how excited they were to be given this chance.

We headed over to the fertility clinic and chatted for a bit while we waited.  Mrs. California and I were getting a little anxious for this to go down and then there was Mr. California.  He was a cool cucumber and just was so content.  On the way to the clinic I asked Mrs. C if she was going to cry since I probably would and she said she had already teared up a little.

When we started this journey we had always agreed to transfer 2 embryos and they had four frozen so I always thought that's what we would end up doing.  When we got there we found out that only 1 baby embie made it through the thaw.  We were a little sad about that but it was also a blessing in disguise.  They didn't want to have to make a difficult choice on what to do if they had any left over and this worked the first time.  God took over that part of the decision for everyone!! :)

They called us back and I changed in to my awesome gown and she told us the embryologist would be in soon to explain further instructions for after the procedure.  We waited and waited and the nurse finally came back and she ended up explaining our instruction for afterwards.  This was starting to get real!  It was about that time that I had taken the Valium and I am SO glad that I did.  I know some girls say the procedure is so simple and similar to a pap smear and to go sans the Valium.  Although the procedure was simple and quick once it actually it got started but the speculum just hanging out down town didn't really feel that great.

The doctor came in and IP's chatted a second and then we started the miracle making!!  I won't lie this was one of the most amazing experiences of my life aside from giving birth to my daughter.  I have had many spiritual experiences leading up to this decision and then to this point and this wasn't any different.  It was amazing and I started to tear up almost immediately!

They transferred one little embryo and then I had to wait on the table for 10 minutes and then I could FINALLY empty my VERY full bladder.  Whoever said that was necessary didn't have someone pushing on your bladder and someone in your business for 20 minutes.

It felt so surreal to realize that he just implanted a little start of a baby in my uterus and that I could possibly become pregnant if it was meant to be.  I was taking the meds correctly and doing what they wanted so now it was all in God's hands.  Now we just wait to start POAS!!!

 Valium was starting to kick in and I was feeling really awesome at this point!!

 We originally thought we were transferring both of these little beauties but we only transferred the top on which was a grade A+.  The bottom one didn't expand and wasn't thriving. :(

If you can tell, the little white dot in the center is where the little embie is starting to get snuggled in for a long 9 months!!