Friendship

I've realized that some of the most amazing people that are currently in my life where unexpected and beautiful blessings in my life.  I truly believe that people are placed in your life for a reason; some stay and some leave.  Regardless they are there for a reason and I have learnt something from all of them.

That said, when I started this journey in the surrogacy world I became friends with the sweetest woman who was struggling to get pregnant.  We became very close and I consider her to be one of my very best friends.  I hurt for her each month that she didn't become pregnant.  It hurt to watch her struggle when I was getting pregnant for another family.  Then when I got pregnant with TJ she told me how her husband and herself were going through the process to start IVF.  I was so excited for them and gave them lots of tips and referred them to my favorite RE.  They were soon to be starting the egg retrieval in the next month or so and then IVF to get pregnant with their little nugget.  I was so excited to be following them during this and to hear about the process from a different perspective.  I was mostly anxious for this to work for them since they've been waiting and TTC for a very long time.

This week though my sweet friend text me some of the MOST amazing news ever; she is PREGNANT!!  I am so excited for her as if it were myself expecting!  With the diagnosis they received and them trying for literally 7 years straight this is the miracle they have been awaiting.  She is not very far along but I am praying so hard that this little baby stays and they get to raise her on Earth in their family.  Yes, I'm voting it is a girl!  God is great and works in the most miraculous ways!

Birth Story-Part 2

I started feeling tons of pressure and thought it might be time to push but in the back of my mind kept reminding myself that is how I felt with my daughter and I wasn't even close to fully dilated.  I paged the nurse and when she checked me she said that I had a lip left and then it would be time.  She was going to page the doctor and let her know.

Every time I was checked I would have everyone leave the room so I felt like I had some dignity before I was completely exposed to the whole room.

The nurse was about to get the doctor when she just happened to walk in to check on me, she truly is the best doctor I've ever had.  The doctor came in and checked me and said I was ready.  At that point I had a mini panic about this being the end.  I had been wanting to be done with the pregnancy and have my body back but in that split second I freaked out.  I think I even said out loud that I wasn't ready yet, that it wasn't time.  I literally wanted to keep him safe a little longer.  It was a bit chaotic at this point and everyone seemed to be moving in super speed but in slow motion at the same time.  It is bizarre to think about.  Almost like it was out of body experience and I was watching from the outside in.

It was almost 5:30 pm and I had my mom on my left side and Mr. California was standing behind my mom waiting.  My friend, Jen was there taking pictures of the birth, I highly recommend having someone do that for you!  Mrs. California was suiting up to help deliver her son!  My best friend, Jenny was on my right side.  For a second Mrs. C and Jenny were almost not allowed to be in the room.  The nurses were being brats about how many people could be in the room.  Yeah I don't think so.

It came time to push and I honestly was so nervous!  With my daughter I pushed for almost 2 hours and she needed assistance to make her entrance.  I was worried that I'd be pushing forever with no progress and need a c-section.  A c-section was my biggest worry since I could tell how big this baby was going to be.  I started pushing and my mom was cheering me on and counting and as well as my friend.  I pushed with all my might and honestly didn't know if I was even pushing since I could NOT feel a darn thing.  Another worry was that I would feel the stitches I knew I would be needing after baby was born and had pushed the epidural booster in between contractions at one point.  I pushed for a good 15 minutes though and he was Earth side and placed him on my belly while his mom cut his cord.  It was absolutely amazing and the coolest thing to watch her deliver her baby and the excitement on her face.

I am pretty sure I had a tear streaming down my face the entire time I was pushing him out.  I could feel the presence of my biggest cheerleaders that had passed.  It was one of the most spiritual experiences I have been apart of.

While he was on my belly I was able to kind of wipe his face off and then they took him to the bed where his mom was able to adore him more.  At this point the dad was repetitively thanking me and we were both just sobbing!  It was truly an amazing thing to be part of!

My friend, Jen who took the L&D photos and is a fellow surro sister 

Finally holding him when I wasn't so loopy

My daughter meeting him for the first time.

My friend, Jenny!

26 weeks along

23 weeks 

Surro sisters-we are (starting with me and moving to the right) 22, 21, 20 weeks along

My Christmas present from one of my best friends!  Love it!!

24 weeks

Still breech and lays on the right side and won't budge at all...

25 weeks

26 weeks

Baby P on 1/17/2014

This has been quite the past month with some ups and some downs.  I can't imagine not going through this experience but it is just SO different from my last pregnancy with my own child that it throws me for a loop.

I went to my surro brunch and had so much fun chatting with the girls from my Utah Surro Group, they are honestly some of my best friends!  I really enjoy seeing them and hearing how everything is going with them and with their journeys!

I had mentioned a while ago, probably before we even transferred that I wanted a shirt that something like "Stay Calm, It's Not Mine."  Well my friend is awesome and found a company that made one for me!  I was so excited about this and couldn't wait to wear it out.

I had my monthly OB appointment and baby boy is still very much in the breech position but at least doesn't have his bum in my pelvis.  We still have about 10 weeks before we will start trying to move him ourselves though.  For now, I will start doing some downward dog and possibly prenatal yoga to see if that helps him flip.  He has plenty of fluid in there to turn and move around but he is nice and cozy sitting on my bladder and laying in my rib cage.  I also got to drink the glucose drink today but won't find out the results to that for a few days.  Here is to hoping that turns out great and I won't need the 3 hour glucose test too.

The family has picked a name out for baby boy and I think it is super cute!  For all of you I will now start to refer to him as Baby P though.

After my OB appointment I had a perinatal appointment to check on the baby.  Due to their other son they just wanted to check and make sure everything looked good.  I was completely okay with that since it meant an extensive ultrasound of seeing the little pea moving around.  We were lucky and were able to get a 3D shot of his face and I have to say he looks pretty stinking cute!  The results were that he is perfect and as far as the perinatal doctor could see everything looks wonderful!  Sigh of relief for the family of this little guy.  With the extra ultrasound we had we were able to get measurements of everything and I am a little nervous for the delivery.  He is measuring about 2lbs, 2 oz.  His head is measuring a little large at about 28 weeks and 4-5 days along when I am only 25 weeks and 6 days.  The rest of his body is measuring on target at least but with him being breech it makes me nervous that a vaginal birth might not happen if he doesn't get turned around and is head down.  From what I've read with breech deliveries they want the stomach and head about the same diameter around or at least the stomach a bit bigger than the head.  Here is to hoping he flips soon!

Weight Gain: 29 lbs.  I apparently know how to pack on the weight when I get pregnant, but thankfully it has mostly gone to my belly and maybe to my behind.

Cravings: Water that is somewhat warm (I know kind of weird), salad, turkey, avocado, sweets (doesn't help with all the holiday treats we had going around)

Symptoms: Starting to waddle, braxton hicks, pelvic pressure, constantly having to pee, exhaustion again, some ligament pain, him constantly moving around which I don't mind at all, some swelling in my feet, heart burn if I don't take the prilosec every single day

What I miss: Not feeling so immobile, I want so badly to just lay on my stomach, Shaving without trying to be an acrobat, not feeling like my insides are going to fall out or my belly to fall over

Their baby's the size of a head of lettuce!

He's still growing in the 13.6- to 14.8-inch and 1.5- to 2.5-pound range, and developing his senses, features and talents!

Their baby at 26 weeks

• His eyes are forming, and his eyes will soon start to open.
• And his eyelashes are now grown, too.
• He's getting his immune system ready for life on the outside by soaking up your antibodies.
• He's taking breaths, too. They're of amniotic fluid, not air, but it's still good practice.

Surro Sisters Luncheon

Four out of the six of us are pregnant and one will be pregnant shortly.

We are about a week and a half apart.  You can't really tell but I am further along then Jen is.

With all the craziness that has been going on it was a much needed girl time with these lovely ladies.  We try and get together once a month.  I am not always able to make it but I needed this time for me.  These are the only women who truly get the feelings I have and know what I am going through.  I can say something and they don't look at me like I am crazy because they have felt the same way or similar.  They have been my complete support aside from my best friend and I am so grateful for them!  These are girls who aren't just a monthly visit but we spend time together and are truly friends and are there for each other.  I love them to pieces and so glad to have them apart of my life and this journey!

15 weeks along

15 weeks along

This is what happens when you have friends that own their Doppler, you get to hear the heart beat when you want to.  My sweet surro friend is letting me borrow her Doppler until she is pregnant and I can't thank her enough!

I know I've said it before but not feeling the baby moving consistently at this point it can put a lot of worry in your mind.  It is a lot of pressure to do this and make sure that nothing goes wrong at all.  With my daughter I just didn't worry because I knew it would be okay.  With this pregnancy I still feel it will be okay but it isn't mine so there is extra pressure for it to go just right.  This has been reassuring to just stick it on my belly and hear that sweet thumping beat!  The baby doesn't like the Doppler put on because it will move around and sometimes will kick it away.  It is so sweet though.

Surro sisters

Sometimes it is NOT all rainbows and sunshine doing this and you just need someone who gets it and get you.  Thanks to my sweet friend, Jen who has been there through the ups and downs of this crazy roller coaster ride!  We are about a week and a half apart too.  She is carrying for another family as well!  You can check her blog out HERE!!