Marriage, Baby, Searching

In the little bit of time that I was looking for a couple, I was also dating someone.  Dating this guy ended up being the best thing ever and we got married and blended our families together.  He had kids and I had my one.  We quickly added an "our" baby to the craziness!

We knew that we didn't want any more of our own after adding our little guy to the crew but I knew that I wanted to help another family still.  When my little guy was about 4 months old I started the process of looking for a family to carry for again.

I will be adding more about this soon...

Update

I haven't really known how to update what was going on since it wasn't great news.  It wasn't the news that I had thought since things went so well with the NYC couple.

When I started talking to them things were slower moving and I was completely fine by that.  I was more wanting to wait for the perfect couple.  Although things went well they decided to move forward with a different surrogate.  They have a toddler already and want to be super involved, which isn't a problem for me.  The only problem is the distance between us.  I can only imagine the extra hassle it will be to fly back and forth to appointments and etc with a toddler.

I am a little sad that things aren't moving forward but I feel like everything happens for a reason.  I am still looking for an IP(s) to carry for but at a much slower pace.  I am willing to wait for the right people to carry for.

Meeting

After I delivered TJ and all during that pregnancy I said it was my last one unless they wanted a sibling down the road.  I figured I would take a break from being pregnant and just focus on me and my family.  Then I had this couple fall in my lap and I had a decision to make.  I have been chatting with them since February/March and I flew out to meet them the end of July.  From the beginning I've always said and felt that if things are meant to be they will work out.  I wasn't really looking for a new couple.  When I first started talking to this new couple I felt like I was cheating on TJ's family.  I ran it by them and they want to wait to decide.  I felt better having their blessing to move forward with this new couple.

This new couple is adorable and so sweet.  When Mrs. NYC told me about her infertility story my heart went out to them.  My friend carried their second child for them and it was sweet watching them dote over him.  We discussed several things while at lunch and I felt very good about everything.  I feel like this is going to be a great match.

The main reason for not wanting to look for a new couple is I was scared.  I was scared that I would think they were amazing and then it end the same as the first couple I carried for.  I want contact after.  I don't need to hear or talk every single day but a quick text or picture every so often means the world to me.  J & T have been so amazing in giving me that.  This new couple give their last surro that and I am hopeful it will be the same with me.

Anyways, the whole point of this is that I am officially matched.  I will be flying out to do the medical and psychological evaluations.  I am hoping that we have time to get everything done for us to transfer when they are wanting to.  Here is to another journey...

Sweet friendship

"A gift from God, grown close to my heart, forever loved and adored by you."

Today marks 6 months since I was holding TJ near my heart and placed him in his mom's arms forever.  I can't believe it has been half a year already that he was here and I witnessed the most beautiful thing happen.  A mother's love is indescribable and I got to witness this happen for a second time.  I have greatly appreciated them allowing me to be in their lives after the fact and see them with him.

It means the world to me that she sends me a quick text telling me what food he loves or dislikes.  If he is rolling over, crawling or scooting.  That is the biggest payment for me is seeing them fall in love with him.  The way he looks at his mom, dad or siblings is the best and greatest thing ever.

Happy half a year to the cutest little belly bud I've ever seen! :)

Friendship

I've realized that some of the most amazing people that are currently in my life where unexpected and beautiful blessings in my life.  I truly believe that people are placed in your life for a reason; some stay and some leave.  Regardless they are there for a reason and I have learnt something from all of them.

That said, when I started this journey in the surrogacy world I became friends with the sweetest woman who was struggling to get pregnant.  We became very close and I consider her to be one of my very best friends.  I hurt for her each month that she didn't become pregnant.  It hurt to watch her struggle when I was getting pregnant for another family.  Then when I got pregnant with TJ she told me how her husband and herself were going through the process to start IVF.  I was so excited for them and gave them lots of tips and referred them to my favorite RE.  They were soon to be starting the egg retrieval in the next month or so and then IVF to get pregnant with their little nugget.  I was so excited to be following them during this and to hear about the process from a different perspective.  I was mostly anxious for this to work for them since they've been waiting and TTC for a very long time.

This week though my sweet friend text me some of the MOST amazing news ever; she is PREGNANT!!  I am so excited for her as if it were myself expecting!  With the diagnosis they received and them trying for literally 7 years straight this is the miracle they have been awaiting.  She is not very far along but I am praying so hard that this little baby stays and they get to raise her on Earth in their family.  Yes, I'm voting it is a girl!  God is great and works in the most miraculous ways!

Again....

Towards the end of TJ's birth I kept telling myself and others that I wanted a break before I got pregnant ever again.  I think due to it being the end of the pregnancy and just general uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms I said no more for a few years.  Boy, what a few months will do to you...

Then I had TJ and have had the best post birth relationship with his family and I got the itch.  Then I had a friend mention a couple and then another friend mentioned another couple.  Then I asked TJ's parents what they thought their timeline was so I knew if I should pursue an agency or one of these other couples.  I wish I could say they were ready to go again but like any sane mom and dad they want to wait a little bit.  Plus mom says TJ is the best baby and so sweet!  I am bummed about that but I told them that whenever they are ready I am always ready.  I want to carry a cute little sister or brother for TJ that he can play with and protect.

So I've been looking again.  I know this may be crazy but I love, love helping these sweet couples and I love the birth stories so much!  The whole process of seeing these parents light up during their darkest hour is the highlight.  The excitement in their voice when you call to tell them that it worked and baby is on board and they are going to be mommy and daddy now.  Seeing their faces when they hear the heart beat for the first time.  Or when they find out the gender for the first time.  To reach the point in the pregnancy where they finally take a breath of relief that everything is going to be okay now.  Honestly the best part for me is the birth.  I could birth babies all day and everyday to see the looks on their faces.  Those moments are forever engraved in my mind.

I'm not in a huge rush to transfer, I'm thinking someone who wants to start next year sometime so I'm at least a year past TJ's birth.  Long enough for my hair to stop falling out. :)

On a side note TJ is probably the cutest little guy and my daughter and I are extremely blessed to be welcomed into his family and get to watch him grow up.

2 years ago

Two years ago about this time I was just getting checked into the hospital and preparing for the biggest day that forever changed my life.  I was earning my wings as a first time carrier and although things didn't end the way I had hoped it will hold a special place in my heart.  It was the start of many firsts for me in this world of surrogacy.

I hope that you are well and that you are given the most love today.
I hope that they think of me when they see your chubby cheeks and remember how special our journey still was.
I am sure that you are adorable and that your family dotes all over you.
I am sure that they are preparing today for the birthday boy to be treated like the little prince that you are.  Today is your special day!

Today is my special day.  Today was my birthing day.  Two years ago I was anxiously waiting for your arrival.  Today they were anxiously waiting after several false alarms.  Today I am thinking of you and wishing you many happiest of birthdays!