News is better then no news at all

Last I posted we had just filed our contract and had a judge that IP's lawyer had never worked with before.  We were all very nervous about what would happen.  IM and I both were trying to be optimistic but we both felt like things weren't going to go as smoothly as we'd hope.

We didn't hear from the courts for another two weeks, finally on June 19 we heard back and we did not get good news at all.  Our judge decided that he wanted my family to do a home study.  In the State of Utah that is a requirement but we try to get it waived to avoid the extra time and money spent in between transferring.  With that news we were all really down and just bummed that this was happening.

For the next week we were throwing around filing our contract in California and just having me deliver there.  Day one of us getting the news of having to do a home study I was all for it but as I started contemplating it all I really felt like I needed to deliver their babies in Utah.  My IPs felt the same but also didn't want to jeopardize something going wrong and still wanted the option of me delivering in California.

All while this was happening they were discussing things with their lawyer and trying to figure out this new aspect of what to do.  It was a lot of crying on mine and IM's part and lots of praying and hoping that things would work out the way they needed to.

After a week of contemplating our plan we decided the best route was for us to still keep our contract filed through Utah State and to do the home study that way I can deliver in Utah.  There were too many if's with me delivering in California and I am sure it would have worked out but we just didn't want to chance that.

We did find a loop hole for us to still move forward with the transfer though which we are elated about.  We really didn't want to have to wait a few more months just to transfer.  I really don't want to be hugely pregnant in the Summer either. ha  Their lawyer sent a clearance letter to the fertility clinic saying we were okay to transfer now!!

Now we just need to wait to hear from the fertility clinic about getting my calendar and dates all set up.

Why would I want to do this?

I have family and friends that don't understand why I would want to be a surrogate and have said some very HURTFUL things to me about me wanting to do this.  I know that their intentions are good but they have hurt my feelings.

With that said; this is something I have wanted to do since I was 18 years old.  I had a close friend years ago who found out very early at the age of 17 she couldn't have kids of her own ever.  I immediately told her that I would be her surrogate and carry her children for her.  That was in 2005; that was nearly 7 years ago.

Three years ago I mentioned it to family and friends about being a gestational surrogate and some were really supportive and some were so opposed to it.  I didn't do anything further with it at the time.  Last Summer, I felt like I should start looking into it again.  So I did.  I looked into different agencies and read more about it.  I felt at the time that with the divorce so fresh and the co-parenting relationship a little rocky that it would be best that I waited.  Six short months later (Jan. 2012) I felt like it was time.  I looked into it again but this time I applied at agencies and talked with a lawyer who specializes in surrogate law.  I have received the most assuring answer or feeling when I filed for divorce and it is no different when I have pondering and prayed about helping another family to start their family.

I have family members and friends that can't have kids on their own and I would do anything to help them and if that meant helping them start their family by carrying their baby for them I wouldn't even think twice about it.  I know that being a surrogate is not for everyone, there is so much time and pain that goes into this.  There are so many people that may look at this as a negative but I can only see the positive.  I know how amazing it is to be a parent and how important that is for me, that I can't even fathom not being able to be a parent and raise a beautiful Spirit.  I am so excited and have dreamed about doing this for such a long time; to be able to help a sweet couple begin their family is such a miracle.

For those that think surrogates do it just for the money think extra long and hard about this, SERIOUSLY.  If I was in it for the money I would do something that wouldn't stretch my body to the core and mutilate it.  I would do something that I didn't chance dying over or losing organs over.  I would do something that meant I got paid more then a couple dollars a day; from beginning to end of being a surrogate which is actually about a year of time if not longer, is not worth the money.  I have had people mention the mounds of money I will get out of doing this and that is not the case.  Yes, there is money involved for my pain and suffereing but the actual concept of bringing a sweet Spirit into this world for another family is something more meaningful and special to me then the money.

I eat, sleep and when I sleep I dream of doing this; it has literally consumed my thoughts all day and every day. I know that some of you who are of my faith and think I shouldn't do this and that I will be damned or excommunicated realize that this isn't something I have just jumped into.  Being a surrogate is so very close to my heart not because I have had infertility problems but because people I love and are near and dear to my heart have and I want to do something to help them.  Those seven years ago when my friend found out she couldn't have kids I was completely sincere about helping her and still would if she needed it.  To be able to see a couple that has struggled for years upon years to have a child to no avail hold THEIR baby for the first time makes me tear up just thinking about it.  I have prayerfully decided to be a gestational surrogate and I am so elated about this decision.  I know that their is a  baby that is so ready to come to Earth and be with their family.  I understand that there are so many options for couples to have a family but I know that this is also an option; I am willing to help a family if they want.  I honestly can't imagine doing anything else right now but to give someone the most amazing gift; a child of their own!

Please if you have questions about being a surrogate or don't understand something please ask but please be courteous of what you might say.  I have already been so deeply hurt by the ignorance of others and them not fully understanding what I am doing.